The eyeroll was planned.
Not only did she plan it, she practiced it as she struggled to remember chord fingerings and suffered through the stinging pain in her left-hand fingertips that came from being enough out of practice to lose all her calluses.
Because here was the thing. Once You Are My Sunshine presented itself to Lily’s brain, it left no room for any other songs, and she knew that if she was going to go through with this ridiculous display of feelings, she was stuck with that line: “You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.” She tried to convince herself it was okay because everyone knows that song lyrics don’t count the same way real words do.
But people don’t always know. She had a boyfriend in high school with whom she always sang “I’ll make love to you like you want me to,” and to her it was just their thing, singing that song. They both had good voices for it and they liked singing it, but then he took it as a promise and tried to collect on it, resulting in a blow-up argument and a messy breakup.
So maybe she shouldn’t count on that. Hence, the eyeroll.
Because obviously it would be ridiculous to show up at a guy’s doorstep unsure of whether he even liked you with a completely honest declaration of love. Who does that? Okay, countless film characters do that all the time, but real people? Lily? Ha, no. So the eyeroll was a buffer. It was plausible deniability. It was I’m putting myself out there enough with this grand gesture with a not-so-original song, I don’t need to go throwing I love you into the mix.
Except that was the first thing he picked up on. After the last strummed chord died away and Lily allowed her burning fingertips to relax from the rasp of the strings, James stood there quietly for several moments, absorbing the impact of the gesture in a way that was beautifully and infuriatingly James, then frowned and asked, “You love me?”
It sounded incredulous in a way that Lily didn’t quite trust, and she couldn’t possibly tell him that the moment the word “love” came out of his mouth, she knew it was true, that it was a word that perfectly described the way all her insides seemed to fall apart as she stared up into his dark, searching eyes.
But he’d never know that. Okay, maybe not never, but certainly not yet. She settled for the technically true but equivocal “I don’t hate you,” and hoped he’d get something out of the subtext.
…. i still haven’t watched the most recent ep of GoT. I feel so angry/betrayed about that one scene that I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear to watch any of the ep.
like they pretty much have ruined Jaime’s arc and Cersei’s arc. and I’ve been trying to just ignore it and keep it in my head as the book canon (an already pretty gross scene) but god i’m just so disgusted
and worried about potential other issues in this season. I’m so worried about certain plot aspects if they continue down this path of punishing women. Because that’s literally what the rape was, a punishment for Cersei by Jaime for withholding herself from him. And it makes me so mad.
For a lot of reasons, but also for destroying two character’s. Cersei, who would have probably allowed Jaime in her arms in a moment of grief so you can’t pull that ‘he’s been there for a while bullshit’ with me, and Jaime would never ever rape someone, especially not Cersei.
Even in his moments later on, he never seems to hate her, not really, it’s more pity than hate, imo.
I’m just angry. And sad.
So very worried.
it genuinely confuses me when people say things like, “but Littlefinger helped Sansa out by getting her away from King’s Landing! she’d have died if he hadn’t, because everyone thought she killed Jofffey!”
but he was the one who framed her for Joffrey’s murder??
and he was also the one who provoked Joffrey into killing her dad???
and he kind of started the war that got her trapped in King’s Landing in the first place????
woo i have my computer back. i dont’ have my old info on it yet though, we’re doing that tomorrow, but I have my laptop back.
so yay i’m back guys!
rhllors asked: It's super gross (the jaime/cersei scene) like you can kinda tell they were going for how it is in the books where Cersei says "no" but goes along with it anyway they just took it waaay too far, but it's also very short and very easy to skip, so don't get too anxious about it?
yeah I’m not that anxious, I was planning to skip the scene already, before I found out that they changed it. urhg it just frustrates me because it feels like one of those HBO things to make things ‘edgier’ when, for god’s sakes, it’s already incest.
i haven’t watched the episode of GoT yet, but i already heard the thing about jaime and I can assure you that I’m mad as hell.